"Run! Hide! Barricade yourself in the basement of an abandoned farmhouse! This 7-3/4 inch tall, plastic Remote Control Zombie will trudge forward and groan when you activate him by pressing the button on the 2-3/4 inch long brain-shaped remote. Horrifying!"
Just use the Brain Remote Control and your undead minion will obey your command to shamble forward towards its intended meal. And just to show you how much it likes you, your Remote Control Zombie will groan as it shuffles, too (press button, he walks and groans; press it again, he stops). To help your zombie, you can also pose its articulated neck, shoulders, and hips. Just keep reminding your zombie that it shouldn't eat a big brain like yours; it should eat many little brains like those found in your coworkers' heads. Because studies have shown that many little meals during the day are much better for you than one big meal.